My comments (only with regard to idea presented):

 

You starve them and they’ll breed

from numbers two to three (terrible writing on my part, I know; and their pence from one to less)

But will you care

Will you care?

Perhaps only for the mob

that strives

only to overthrow

Or is it just more

for fields

to have

more backs to break

more to toil

beneath your feet

And you call them dogs

but you told them

to eat

from the dish

and you said

“Good boy”

 

You don’t have be

You may have advantages

beyond

simply money

But like some of you

there are some that never will stand

The choice second handers

relegated by suppression

power

fire

land

 

And like some of you

there are those

that never will bow

At best to fein weakness

to deliver the blow (though greatly hope not ever done by any, and it won’t ever be me)

 

And further still

there are a few

whose abilities

determination

circumstance

will rival those born

To become opressors

or squander

or help them to stand

I do not know

 

For those above

what I have descibed

they do grey

Each a class unto their own

As those with to be an individual case

so those without

The lines are not so distinct

Perhaps power the greatest boundry

but even with this

there is time

and with all the constancy

perhaps even a little

just a little

change

 

Fathers are wrong (I don’t know but at least my thought was you need to be, wherever you decide, you decide; parents it’s great to push but bit by bit let your children be)

You have so much

power

but the beauty within you

why don’t you see

I do

 

So I send this

I do not intend to steal your voice

to cause you pain

This my plea

break their bonds

free their minds

I don’t deserve

nor

have power to extact

by force

even at my best

but I am ruins now

mostly by my own hand

I’ll not pretend

But what I love

What I see

I do see this

 

There’s a beauty within you

I wish you would see

The hell with survival o the fittest and all the rest (and I don’t speak of their god concept)

It may be all chemicals but

pretend you have a choice

Choose

 

So this my plea

My plea

My plea

My plea

My plea

 

My plea

My plea

 

I’m begging YOU

My plea

Free them

*Teach them

*but don’t endoctrinate them

*They can be as much as any

*They are *beautiful

*They are

*perhaps just chemicals, us

*But try to choose

*for them

 

(and “free”ing not to be read as wickedly)

 

(I’m sorry it’s so long for comments; and terrible in structure, style, and the rest. But it was the only way I thought to reply to this as I’m not very good at it. This is meant only my weak attempt at comments saying I hope you aren’t so angry with others as I read the views presented in the writing to be (but I know to draw the reader it’s often best to take a strong point so I assume that’s all this was. I enjoyed the writing style and it was thought provoking) My writing is only my weak attempt at a counter thought to the idea you present rather than anything else)

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “

  1. poncemp says:

    Reread the poem once more before reading my comment and see if how you read it changes. If not, here’s my– well, not really rebuttal or counter, as that would imply defensiveness– but reply.

    The poem is about how the modern person is too absorbed and asphyxiated with what the media and television tell them to be. Ironically, these things that are at the forefront of influence in this day and age are caricatutres of everything that’s wrong with the world. We take delight in the things that are killing us. When I introduce the poet as an artist, it is not as someone who is urging violence, but as someone who wishes to use his words to inspire change and save people from thtemselves. As the second to last stanza states, even if my critiques of society are taken as insults, they come from a place of love and a desire to better society. Even if I am forsaken or villianized for what i say, I will not betray my words, myself, or others, as people have always been so quick to do. I will love everyone. Unfortunately, I think most people are too proud or self-absorbed to do the same. Thus, though my words are meant to help and to save, a proud person will not admit their faults or take accountability for their actions, and my art, like so many of the people out there it is supposed to represent, will suffer as a result.

  2. poncemp says:

    Thank you for reading and commenting though. I appreciate it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s